Diana, Princess of Details

There’s a Barnardo’s near where I live and everything is 99p. Ninety. Nine. Pence. It might well be my g-spot. I picked up a few things there, including my new favourite skirt, which is covered in beer after I went for a drink after work on Friday, so that’ll have to wait.

Anyway, let me introduce you to Diana.

She’s called ‘Classics’ which means she started her life on the mean aisles of a Debenhams until she found her way onto my bosom. If you can’t pick it up from the terrible quality iphone pictures, she’s a beautiful slatey blue/grey colour. What a stunning lass.

LOOK AT THAT DETAIL ROUND THE BUTTONS. I’m so turned on right now.

Anyway, I’ve been wearing her with some high-waisted “jeggings” (Lord have mercy on my soul, they were flattering and cheap and I didn’t see the label) and Marietta. Anyone who’s been in my house will know that the colour scheme of this outfit is pretty much the same as in my hallway, because I am not very inventive.

Apparently I looked like The Doctor in my last post. I have a feeling the comparison will only get worse in this one. I’m not sorry.

Just in case you were wondering, the glasses are not ‘geek chic’. They’re varifocals. I can’t have small lenses. Welcome to my world where everything’s a joke.